Thursday, February 7, 2013

thursday threads [tales from online shopping]

Thursday, February 7, 2013
let me start off by saying that this is not the most exciting outfit in the world. but it does have a nice story/lesson tied to it, so hear me out.

i've had a lot of luck with online purchases lately. everything i'd bought has been exactly what i wanted [i.e. pixie pants & 50/50s] and that went to my head, i got cocky and reckless which led me to my next online purchase: [p]leather moto pants from forever 21. [if you're cringing, then you'll understand the rest of this tale]. 

let me start off by saying that i've never purchased pants at forever 21. ever. never tried on their sizes, studied their fits, nothing. on top of that, i had the audacity to order non-stretchy, immobile pants from a store called forever 21 [an age i passed 6 years ago], in an extra small. [you read that right]. after the pixie-50/50 combo, i thought i couldn't go wrong.

i went wrong.

they arrived on a wednesday and after taking them out of the package, i immediately knew something was off. yes, they were quite adorable, and exactly what i shelled out $24.80 [plus s+h], but the legs looked suspiciously small. i shoved one winter-white leg in, then the other, and knew immediately that these bad boys were not going up my calves nor over my thighs. [excellent].

not easily discouraged, i devised a cunning plan to widen the legs on the pants with a combination of 25lb weights and wide boot inserts that i kept in my sam edelman tuckers [to keep their floppiness to a minimum as they lay unceremoniously in my closet]. after two full days of stretching, i tried again on friday night. 

hallelujah! the calf area had widened enough to accommodate me and the pants went on like butter. tight, pleather, constricting butter. 

so they were a wiiiiiittle bit tight, but fashion requires sacrifice. and they were $24.80, and i was determined.

i wore them friday night in the exact outfit you see below to romp around with the cutest little 11-month old on the floor and apart from a little bit of tightness, the pants held up well. [point, natalie]. i even bragged about my patented pant-stretching techniques all weekend. 

since i forgot to take pictures of my victory on friday, i threw on friday's getup on sunday for a few [glamour] shots, and while doing a quick lunge stretch to get them to fit just so, i heard a loud riiiiiiip.

not one to be confined without a fight, my right knee staged a daring escape from its pleather prison and tore through the "moto" seams to create a gaping hole. [point, pants]. 

i didn't want to let the pants win, so i decided to take the pictures anyway:


 [old navy baseball tee -similar, three dots tank - similar, f21 faux leather moto pants, target wedge sneakers]

  [freeeeeeedom!]



[the infamous escapee-knee]

the lessons i've learned:

  1. don't get too confident when ordering online. different stores have different sizing and it's important to know what size you are when ordering.
  2. widening pants with boot inserts does work. 
  3. i cannot order an x-small in f21 pants. they rip.
  4. my knees are beasts and cannot be contained. [insert beastly knee growls here]
  5. if something rips, make the best of it. distressed items are still "in" last time i checked!
i'm keeping the pants. and i'm going to wear them - ripped knee and all. 

i'll just cross my fingers that my left knee [or butt] doesn't stage a prison break.

do you have any lessons/tips/tricks on fit that you care to share?

3 comments:

  1. Dear sweet jesus this post was hilarious....i too have beast mode knees

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  2. F21 is always this way for me - I just can't order online with them! I would have typically ordered an XS in pants (like Pixies) at J.Crew and at F21 I can seriously be a large. Same with tops! They run the gamut! Some things I'm a small, and others the medium is pushing it! A little tip - their "Love 21" brand is geared toward us "older" 21 year olds - ehem, 27 - and I think their sizing is a little more "realistic." :)

    xo
    See Mo Go.

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  3. OMG, this post cracked me up. Your escape knee...omg :) F21 is hit or miss for me, I love their jeans but I get them from the F21+ line.

    -Emily
    www.herphilly.com

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