Tuesday, February 25, 2014

tuesday tales [being dramatic]

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

i've been pretty even-keel throughout this pregnancy, but this last month, woof, it's like everything is just hitting me, both emotionally and physically.

i shouldn't be complaining, my body is making a baby, and i'm so excited, but it's sometimes hard to hold it together when you haven't slept in more than 2 hour stretches because the bowling ball in under your skin is pressing on your bladder [and belly button... shudder] so much that you're seriously considering wearing adult diapers to bed. also, everything is swollen. [so please, excuse me as i vent, be dramatic, and over-blow situations that really shouldn't be bothering me].

yesterday was one of my weekly doctor's appointments. after not sleeping well again, i had the complete pleasure of getting myself dressed without help. you see, these days, putting on shoes without help sucks. it also doesn't help that the only shoes that don't make my feet swell are my stuart weitzman 5050s. it took me 20 full minutes where there was cursing, crying, and assuring my very confused dog that i wasn't mad at him. [i got the shoes on, but not before working myself up into a tizzy].

after having to go back into my house twice because i forgot stuff, i was finally on my way. late, obviously, it didn't help that the parking lot for my ob's practice is horribly laid out, full of handicapped spaces, and always packed. i typically have to park in the shopping center next door and walk waddle my way over, and, although i need the exercise, it sucks with all the snow/ice we're having.

with a quick "i have to pee right now, i'm not signing in", i get very sympathetic looks from the nurses and a "are you still pregnant?" as i barely make it to the bathroom. next comes the dreaded scale that tells me i've packed on another pound. the saving grace is hearing my baby's heartbeat and hearing that everything is great.

at this point i've calmed down enough to think that i'll make it through the rest of the day, that is until, waddling out to the far away parking lot to notice that the new car next to me has parked so close to my door that even if i hadn't been pregnant, even if i had been a skinny stick-figure model, i wouldn't be able to squeeze myself in.

a loud "you've got to be [insert expletive here] kidding me" escapes my lips, and before i can stop myself, i throw my big louis [vuitton, i name them] in the passenger side, walk around to my door, gently open it enough to hit the a-hole who thinks anyone can fit in the space they left, make sure it's left a little mark, and drive off.

namaste.

2.5 weeks.

22 comments:

  1. rolf .. a really sweet read .. you're almost done .. then you'll have the cutest little baby to cuddle.

    Monica, www.pear-shaped-gal.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha thanks monica! i'm excited (obviously annoyed at people, but excited!)

      Delete
  2. I remember those final days. Everything seems hard, but give yourself a few months and you'll have complete amnesia about your final days of pregnancy woes. Put your feet up and rest as much as you can. You're in the home stretch!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. This part of the pregnancy sucks. You're excited and anxious plus your body is just gross and unrecognizable. I was the most upset about my feet being unrecognizably fat. My husband was like" Uh, ok, yes, your feet are what you should be upset about" (Reading between the lines he was amazed that I was not complaining about my fat face, hands, boobs, ass, etc

    IT sucks that you can't sleep but it's normal. after the baby comes, you forget the pregnancy drama. (or you forget how sucky it was) hang in there sistah!

    ReplyDelete
  4. haha I love this. I've noticed that I curse more since being pregnant. Things I would have never noticed, I do now. And please hold me back if you mess with this pregnant women. You are almost there! Keep your head hight :)
    xo jess
    www.stmurrie.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
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